I thought of a movie today, remember 50 Shades of Grey? Probably. If you’re like me, you thought it was stupid. Of course, considering the subject matter of my current project, I have to stay in tune with the misguided and often contradictory attempts at mixing sex with capitalism. That is after all, Triple X Tycoon. But there’s a reason we chose not to set the game in America, or on Earth for that matter. It’s a world where goblins exist, for fucks sake.
While pointy ears and green skin may not turn you on, sex probably does. What kind of sex that may be is purely personal preference. But I’d like you to take a second to consider forgetting about what you were told you had to believe about yourself and think independently for a moment. What are you into?
Maybe you like soft lighting and slow kissing, maybe you like monochrome tumblr GIFs that tease repeatedly. Maybe you’re into BDSM, you should check out Nymphomaniac. Actually, go to a porn site and type BDSM into the search bar. Better even, share those interests with others (or significant others) and maybe you’ll find someone who’s into the same things. Explore your interests, for fucks sake.
People are often taught to get hung up on “why”. That is, after all, a fundamental component of knowledge. But anyone who’s spent time being taught anything knows that ultimately your experiences with the subject matter is what really gauges prowess. Point blank, you ain’t into anything unless you’ve tried it. Otherwise you’re just playing yourself. You don’t know if you like sex if you’ve never done it. Just like the right trigger on your controller is no substitute for a real gun.
Unfortunately we’re all in pretty deep when it comes to denial. This leads to confusion, which leads to frustration for everyone. Let’s say Conway and Amber are boyfriend and girlfriend. Conway is an on-top kind of guy and Amber is cool with that. You see, on the down low though, when Amber isn’t around and Conway is all alone, he might stick a finger in his ass right before he gets off to some porn he found online. He didn’t really even know it would become a thing. He did it once, out of curiosity, and it felt great so he just kept doing it. Now it’s his thing. And it’s actually hard for him to get off without it.
Amber doesn’t know this, Conway is embarrassed by it because, well, he’s a “top” kinna guy and he’s not sure how Amber would feel about it. Maybe he just didn’t get around much and this is all new to him. So Conway keeps it a secret, until maybe Amber decides to pop a finger up his ass during sex, out of curiosity, and he convulses in bliss. Awkward? Maybe.
Meanwhile, all along Amber has been keeping a small dildo around for when she’s alone. Although previously she had been against it, only because it seemed gross in theory, an incident involving her fingers after watching a hot scene in some movie the other night got her thinking. Well then that dildo got around to other places, and now sex with Conway feels like a one way street. And I mean, the dildo vibrates.
Had they both known each others “interests” beforehand or had they chosen to be curious together (which requires a good relationship, which is a whole ‘nother topic), all that awkwardness and frustration could have instead been a good time for both of them. So next time you decide to get involved with someone, maybe take the time out to share your interests. One way or the other, find out what turns them on. It might just turn you on too.