If life was a game called Outside it would be difficult as hell. Hell like the level in that context, not the actual place (which doesn’t exist since we all know the Earth is hollow). It would have stats and ranks, marriages and
unions guilds, friends and enemies. There would be war PVP. There would be hardcore players in as much volume as there would be players who take pleasure from just walking around the ultimate most unfair MMORPG.
There would be life and death.
As a kid I often thought of the world in this way to keep it interesting. Just so happens these are also the kinds of things that cross your mind when developing your own games. Which is something I wouldn’t recommend to anyone who likes to keep their sanity where they can see it, because you are going to have to lose that if you want plan outside the box for so long. Now that length varies, and I know there are articles galore by those who preach the contrary so call me the cynic if you must.
But game development sucks.
Highly not recommended. Except there’s a small part of you that always remains optimistic, that’s the part you keep. Through hail, rain, sleet and snow you know something no one else does and that’s how much of you is in it. And you get in so deep you practically get lost in the narrative of everything relevant to this new part of you until…
Shit, where was I again?
Why did I start this?
Is it going to be worth it?
And you don’t really know the answers. So then you ask hard questions and dissect analytics for closure since there’s a lot depending on those facts, there’s thought and foresight in your sheet or screen of numbers. You look back to see what you could have done differently, if at all and then the choice reveals itself to you. It’s the one you’ve been looking for.
Like a speckle of light from the void you’ve been staring out into for years and has no discernible features differentiating right from wrong but you have to make a decision. The only one that matters. It’s your trial and you’ve been prosecuted for something you’ve committed to but haven’t done yet. You try to find reason but it’s all doubt and you’re thinking if only you could just…
You’re in the void and can’t tell if your falling or flying. Your time is reflected before you in a black mirror.
So many thoughts rush in, clamoring for the processing power you were born with but can only access through a dumb terminal and the blinking cursor is telling you to fucking Ship it. You blink and a shift in the tide you didn’t know existed below the deck of this ship you’ve built gives you whiplash. Suddenly It’s just you and the passage of time traveling toward a waterfall you can’t see or hear hit the rocks below. And if there’s anyone else at all aboard with you, you’re one of the lucky ones.