So naturally anyone would believe that having a holiday-birthday is an awesome thing. It’s an easy way to have all your family and friends remember the day and make sure that they all say happy birthday and shower you with love and presents.  Well, it’s the exact opposite.  Holidays are a day for celebration and happiness for everyone except, for the person with the birthday.

Step One: Remember the Date

Holidays are often chaotic so forgetting someones birthday happens.  It’s understandable.  Everyone has their own shit that they have to do.  Many people have family that they need to visit, calls that need to be made and obligations that one can simply not get out of.  The birthday person has to do all of these things too.  They understand that you have a lot of shit to do.  They do too.

Through my years I’ve found that if I call 10 family members to say Merry Christmas only 1 will say Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.  Thats 9 people that have known me my whole life who simply forgot because they were to into the flow of Christmas.  This makes me feel like shit and it happens every year.

So remember the birthday.  Really remember!

This may seem like a no brainer.  Of course you would remember! How could you forget? Don’t be too sure that you won’t forget.  Those that say they will remember are often the first to forget.  If you’re positive you won’t forget then skip to the next step.  For those of you who maybe just found out their friend’s birthday was on a holiday by chance then remember the date.  Remember that date has an actual name so it must be important for one reason or another.

Step Two:  Ask yourself if you’re going to give a gift

If asking yourself totally sounds like a dick move because the answer is obvious go down to the Step Four.
If you’re not sure, give yourself a second to consider if you actually like this person.

Step Three: So if you don’t like this person, you’re an asshole.  Stop reading now and go do something productive.  If you do like this person and would like to make atonement then keep reading.

Step Four: The Gift

So you already came to the conclusion that this person would get a gift for their birthday. Get them one.  Now there can be a few problems with the gift.  Make sure its not holiday related! Nothing is worse than having an unwanted collection of items that can only be looked at during one season.

Make sure to wrap the gift in a paper that has nothing to do with the holiday the person’s birthday is taking place on.

No snowflakes,  Christmas trees, or shamrocks, ect. Use birthday paper.  Don’t be lazy and use holiday paper because you already have a shit ton laying around. Do you want to look like you don’t care about the person’s birthday?

Step Five: Is the person’s birthday on a holiday where a gift is already part of the tradition?

If you answered “No” then go to the next step.

If “yes”, stay here.
These types of holiday’s get especially dicey.  Avoid the awkward gift exchange where one person is giving a gift and not receiving anything in return. In addition to having a birthday gift, the ultimate gift giver would also have a holiday gift but everyone knows what its like to be broke during holidays so that gift is optional.  However, if you feel weird about getting a gift after having given a birthday gift then give a holiday gift as well.

Most people will stop here if the person is just a friend.  If the person is someone you consider important in your life such as a bestie, SO, or family member than you NEED to read the rest.

Step Six: Forget the Holiday

Now forgetting a holiday isn’t the easiest thing in the world.  Everyone around you will be all happy-go-lucky for candy, gifts, valentines, or booze but you need to keep your cool.  Don’t actually celebrate the holiday. Now I’m not saying don’t ever celebrate, just do it at a separate time.  Set a specific time to just do birthday stuff like eat cake and give gifts or whatever.  Don’t say anything about the holiday.  No happy 4th, Halloween, or Merry Christmas. 
 The birthday person would much rather hear “Happy Birthday!”

Wouldn’t you?

Step Seven: Treat the Birthday as a Top Priority

Does anyone ever just want to sit around and do nothing on his or her birthday? No! So at least act as if you actually care.  Ask what the birthday boy/girl wants to do. This may get difficult.  Some places may be closed but if there are any open shops, bars or whatever, go. This might suck for you but you’d want the same thing on your birthday wouldn’t you? The person can’t help that they have a birthday on a sucky day.  If you can’t go out and do anything try to spend as much time with them as possible.

Having to share a birthday with a holiday sucks.  People are always all wrapped up in their own lives, whether that be visiting family, hanging out with other friends or getting drunk.  Most people get too wound up in their own shit to even remember something about another person even if it is something as simple and important as a birthday. 
 If anything just say “Happy Birthday’”and nothing else.  It’s always better to say something more personal than the impersonal alternative such as happy holiday-ish. It shows you care, which goes a long way.

- Iris

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