Last weekend I went and skipped town to visit Iris and JBurns.  Now it’s been a lil’ while since we posted real blogs because shit got busy around here, had to promote the infamous Triple X Tycoon after all.  Anyway let’s recap for good measure. Hi, I’m Doop.

And I’m the whatever here at  JBurns is the resident asshole. Soup is Chinese but not really.  Iris is the cheerleader but I think she looks better in short-shorts, I mean, instead of pleated skirts.   I’m sayin, those legs tho’.  Speaking of, there’s this book with legs on the cover called Sleeping Naked is Green that happens to be the semi-point of this blog so let’s get to it.

Last week it snowed, a good bit up here in New York but not too much.  Just enough to justify laying around naked for days on end.  I remembered the aformentioned book, written by Vanessa Farquharson while vegging out.  It brought me back, days at the library reading random shit to pass the time.   Then I wondered if it could be taken a step further.

If sleeping naked is green, assuming that you’re one person, than what if it was two people? What about sex, is that green too?  Yes it fucking is, if:

A) You squeeze in as much sex as you can in between showers.

B) Take showers with your other half.

C) Fuck in the shower, since water can serve as lube.  This means you’re using less artificial lube which means less plastic waste.

D) She can skip the bra since it may not be doing her any favors anyway.  Earth likes that.  Less to wash.

E) He can start using straight razors for that face (or his legs? We don’t judge) since you’ll get a closer shave which in turn means you’ll need to shave less which hey, might get you laid and we’re back to A.  On the other hand just grow your hair out..which might get you laid too.  Nature didn’t come with a rule book on that anyway.

F) Go on nature dates instead of clubbing.  You’ll probably end up fucking in the woods which means less sheet washing.  That means less excessive water being used and hey, that’s eco-friendly.

Wow that was all about sex.  It’s a good thing too.  I mean literally.  Now the condom thing is a grey area so tread carefully, we ain’t touching that.  Or you, so don’t get too excited.  Or do get excited.  Whatever you do just remember, when you fuck, fuck for forest.

- Doop




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