This semester up at school was sure as hell a weird one.  I got bounced around quite a bit when it came to living arrangements and changing locations might as well be the same as moving to a different planet.  So, being new in town meant I had to learn to make friends quick.  There’s no real cheat code as to how to make friends but I did learn one thing during my travels of “academia”.

Drugs.

Now it might seem like a no brainer but it really fucking works!  So much that I somehow gained a weird reputation one night.  A friend of mine knew I had the goods and after a few unplanned trips I was approached by someone I had only known from a distance.  Now this chick is the kind of chick that I wish I was if I was about a two-hundred pounds heavier and had MASSIVE tits and eyebrows that are beyond on point.  She’s got so much going on that she makes me feel like the DUFF.  To see this girl walk into my room unannounced, I fan-girled a little.  She very politely asked if I would be able to hook her up with my connect.  Me, being desperate for any friends! Never mind this girl, I not only agreed, I arranged a pick up that night.

After an anticlimactic, snowy and semi-awkward car ride we were back with the goods and ended up in the “lounge”.  The tiny room was packed with rebellious Swedish exchange students as well as a few from Wales that seemed far too old to be attending college.  Rounds of cheer were heard upon her entry! Then, all eyes turned to me, the bizarre guest.  Awkward.  A few introductions were made and I somehow got caught in a weird convo about videos that just make me cringe, i.e 2 girls, 1 cup etc.  This one dude kept naming them off the top of his head.

I wasn’t sure if I should have been utterly disgusted or impressed.  I glanced around uncomfortably many times and realized that the goods were being shown and discussed on the other side of the room.  More and more people started to come over to the small group of people I was with.  Before I knew what was happening I had people asking me tons of questions about this new product since they knew I was the only one that could get it to them.  I had the full voluntary attention of 20 people like the weird new kid that just moved into town.  I felt like a God.

Business was booming after that and I had people constantly asking if I could set them up with my guy. They were always asking why we had we not met before and the answer was always simple;  I was new kid that just moved to the dorms.  I had just been out of town.

Don’t Miss: Sleepy Hollow Weirdos

@IrisLeJoy

Facebook Comments