Off the bat you’d think this would be about technique, but it’s not.  I did some research on “shoveling snow like a boss” and the results consisted primarily of manual labor.  Of course, this means you’re going about it the wrong way altogether.  The fact of the matter is, if you are a boss, you ain’t shoveling snow.

 

Option 1: Hire somebody else to do it.

If you’re big-ballin’ this won’t be an issue.  If you’re big-ballin’ you’re probably already doing this since your house is so big that you probably have a bunch of snow gnomes in your four-door garage (off to the side in the corner of course, away from your fancy cars) ready to start digging at a moments notice anyway.

Option 2: Use a flamethrower.

Not a blowtorch.

Option 3: Go on vacation. 

I get it, you’re such a boss you’ve probably got back pains already from walking around in this low-quality gravity.  It’s cool, I hear the Soggy Dollar (among the Virgin Islands) makes a mean painkiller cocktail.

- Doop

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